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Meaning of life

Something sure to come up a lot on this blog is the question of meaning – why the f**k are we here on this planet??? It is something I contemplate regularly.

The human condition is a strange one –  born no different from other animals we are educated into languages, enculturated into structures of thinking, sets of values, morals, dreams. We grow up and play out our roles in society, dedicating our life to our relationships, our religions, our jobs, the building up materialistic goods, searching for our identity, trying to achieve the world’s ideals, create a family, pay off our mortgages or work for whatever other causes we see as valuable. But WHY??? Only to blink and find ourselves retired then old and dying. We may travel, meet people, enjoy food, beautiful sites, other cultures… still what’s the purpose of it all?

I have come across a fantastic fantastic website that contains interviews with some of the most amazing minds in our world today. www.meaningoflife.tv.

So far I’ve watched Karen Armstrong (a scholar of religion) and John Polkinghorne (a Cambridge scholar of physics and Anglican priest), and I definitely recommend both. Each interview is long but well worthwhile 🙂

My first blog

At the moment so much is happening every day that I feel like three days fit into one.

This morning I finish uploading the basics of this website and “took the next step” – announcing it on facebook. Facebook is interesting – with the click of a few buttons you can make a public announcement to almost everyone you know or have even randomly met somewhere along your life’s journeys.

My sister never changed her “status” to “in a relationship” until one week ago AFTER she got engaged. Her and her new man  decided to “take the next step” and pronounce their love to their worlds. I’m still yet to try out twitter – I wonder if that will be as addictive as facebook…

I felt proud as I hit the SHARE button. Even if Mr Stark did all the hard yards with getting me a good theme, the widgets tools, and fixing errors. It may be a year later than originally promised, but this site is much better than it would have been a year ago. This did mean I didn’t blog my trip to South America although I think the adventures that culminated in that trip will be best captured in a travel novel I’m working on. 500 pages of random notes! It’s overwhelming but I do get so excited every time I sit down to write… sitting on my bed with my computer in my lap I can close my eyes and be exploring Inca ruins in Peru, back on the 4wd Bolivian salt-lake tour with five gorgeous Brazilian men, or laying on the beaches of Bahia eating the fruits of paradise. Mmmmm mmmm…. South America. I’m in LOVE!

Ok, I promised myself that after setting up the basics of this website I would get into my uni readings. I read the two shortest articles for the week (only 5 long ones to go) – and then I realised I needed to order business cards today or else I wouldn’t have them for my exhibition next Tuesday. Then some work for my Dad business, and on my way home I… NEARLY DIED. Literally – I’m not just making this up to add excitement to my first blog entry.

So I was turning right off a main road and judging the distance between the oncoming traffic I decided there was space to go. Suddenly there was a big white van approaching my right hand side at an alarming speed. I pressed down on the accelerator and swerved to my left. The driver saw me and slowed down and swerved to his left. We missed each other, and missed the traffic that was approaching. My heart skipped a beat and is now a couple of hours later, still beating faster than normal. Thank you my Guardian Angel – I owe you one – AGAIN…

With a renewed appreciation for life I got home and relived our travel tradition – cooked tuna in it’s tin. And since this is a photo blog and I have to upload a photo to each blog entry so that it works, I thought I’d upload a shot of my tuna and share this tip given to me by my Israeli friend Liran Katzir on the road from Pucon in Chile, to Bariloche in Argentina – two stunning lakes and mountains districts where I had so say goodbye to my Brazilian lover (for the time being) and hello to the long road south.

Ok, so here’s the best traveler’s trick of the book:

1. buy tuna IN OIL

2. cut a square of paper towel (toilet paper will also suffice if you can stomach that idea)

3. soak the square in the oil and light the corners

4. watch the flames for 20 minutes

5. remove the paper, take a fork and enjoy!!!

Also good for lazy nights. Tonight I teamed it with a raw carrot (while waiting – 20 min is a long time when you are hungry), sweet potato and broccoli and corn – all cooked very lazily in the microwave… and Bob’s your uncle – dinner is done. Ok it’s not so glamorous but it does the job. Don’t get me wrong – I love to cook. In fact I cook for my grandfather all the time. But seriously, this tuna tastes great. And well, the vegies are good for you and with a little salt and pepper it tastes pretty alright too.

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A short biography

Who we are depends greatly on our biography. This is a short summary of the time I have spent on this planet – providing some background to where my philosophies and theories are coming from.

1982-1984

I spent my first two years in Jakarta, Indonesia and traveling the world. The adventurous nature of my Dutch mum and Aussie dad seeded in me a passion for travel and I think the lovely Indonesian ladies who looked after me as a baby probably seeded in me a love for people and cultures.

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Returning to Sydney my sister was born and I spent the next 15 years in the Northern Beaches attending a small Christian school in the same suburb, working as a kitchen hand in a local retirement village, and enjoyed a somewhat middle class Australian childhood.

1999- 2002

At 17 (the youngest in my grade) I followed my Dad’s advice and went straight to the closest university to my house and for the next three years I completed by Bachelor of Business (Distinction!) but again, with majors in Marketing and IT, I really didn’t feel I learned that much.

2002- 2004

I was 20 when I finished uni and after a couple of years working hard and saving up money to “see the world”.

2004-2005

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After a short holiday in Thailand I landed in Japan where I stayed for the year and a half that followed. Here I taught English, “acted” in TV shows, short films & commercials, and did my first on-stage parade – in lingerie!

This was a dream come true. When hairdressers turned my hair yellow, green and purple I shaved it off and was surprised when this opened an opportunity to further my dreams – in Paris!

2006

I modeled in Paris, Berlin, Vienna, Majorca, and L.A. And in-between jobs I traveled around London, Barcelona, Hamburg, Munich, to name a few. I met wonderful people and gained a new perspective and appreciation for life.


Feeling homesick for family, mangoes, beaches and everything else that comes with the Australian summer I made a rash decision: I cancelled my plans for Europe, canceled my return trip to Tokyo, and booked a ticket home, turning up on mum’s doorstep on Christmas Eve.

2007

With an apartment in Tokyo and modeling agencies awaiting my return in Europe, I had some decisions to make. My Dad was in my ear with the typical fatherly “time to get a real job” speech and approaching 25 years old I (nearing retirement age for models) I had a quarter-life crisis and thought for a moment he was right. Selling advertising space for fashion magazines sounded like a good job that involved both but at the interviewer it was one little comment the interviewer made that changed my life.

He said, “And you know what the BEST thing about this job is? When you see the digits on your bank statement!!!” He said it with such enthusiasm. My insides curdled and I knew it wasn’t for me. But if not this, then what?

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Photography? Fitness instructing? That would be a good life. My Opa (grandfather) at 91 years old had a fall and I offered to move in as I “skilled up” as I called it.

I assisted some fashion photographers, did part-time modeling in Sydney and became a qualified Pilates instructor.

I also got lost on wikipedia and in library books – teaching myself the things I’d either forgotten from my schooling, or never been taught. I was teaching myself a lot about science, history and religion – revisiting my childhood “faith” in the Christian doctrines, trying to reconcile it with my developing understanding and experience with the peoples and cultures of the world.

2008-2009

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Realising I was never going to join the corporate world (much to my Dad’s disappointment) I took the time to go back to university and skill up more formally. Then I came across “Peace and Conflict Studies” at Sydney University, applied for a MA which I completed over the two years, making use of uni holidays to travel South America, which I am using to write a book about travel, life, love and contemplating the future.

2010-2011

I love learning so much that I submitted a PhD proposal on Narratology, Panentheism and Peace to start mid-2010. Prior to that I worked on submitting journal articles to get publication “points” and travelled to India to speak at a conference in Mumbai, do a yoga and ayurveda retreat in the hills of Coonoor, check out the Taj Mahal, and hang out in Kathmandu and Pokhara in Nepal.

This sent me on an adventure through Krakow, Poland, to speak at a “What is Life?” conference, and on to North Carolina, United States, to teach Storytelling (in Humanities) and co-teach War and Peace (cross-listed Philosophy and Political Science) at Lenoir Rhyne University in Hickory, for the second half of 2011.  Along the way I dedicated a lot of time to editing “My Brazilian… and a kombi named Betty”, for which I am awaiting the right publisher…

2012-2014

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On the way home from the United States I spent time visiting friends and hanging out in Vancouver, and teaching Pilates and hanging out at my friend’s bar Encuentros in Granada, Nicaragua.

By the end of this trip I realised my home: Sydney. I moved into a house with the most creative, fun and intelligent people who quickly became some of my best friends and inspirations.

graduationI started part-time work as the Executive Officer of the Sydney Peace Foundation, a small not-for-profit organisation within the University of Sydney who award the annual international Sydney Peace Prize.

I finished my MPhil (a half-size PhD) in March 2014, and finally (on my fifth application) was awarded a scholarship to do a full PhD, beginning mid-2014.

2015 onwards:

Like anything worthwhile it’s a looooong journey, and a lot of work. But that’s what makes it great. As long as I’m enjoying the process I will continue this journey my whole life.

Through this little slice of cyberspace somewhere on the world wide web I offer my story as it unfolds. I share my spiritual, mental and physical adventure in quest of understanding peace, justice and my place in the universe — traveling, researching, thinking and creating.

For shits and giggles

Japanese TV shows, crazy photoshoots, short films and many more things to laugh at… can you guess which are wigs and which are not?!

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Sakura Wonderful Jet. A short satire film about flying in different classes.

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How good is my Japanese! Shame they don’t have the English version up here, it’s actually kinda funny.

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Buchinuki – I was Yamu-Chan (lamb) – the gaijin (foreigner) TV host-girlfriend of one of the Garage Sale comedians.

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My first photoshoot – for a hair magazine. The beginning of the end of my real hair.

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Test shoot Paris Hilton style…

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Yes, I really am standing where it looks like I’m standing. I’m glad there wasn’t an earthquake at that moment in time! Quite obviously my pre-backbend photo days.

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Sometimes I do miss this shaved head. It was so much fun!IMGP2700

A promo gig at a motorbike expo. Gosh there were some kool bikes.

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 a Russian spy in the Smap Smap TV show – what a mysterious woman I am…

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Snapshot from a CASIO camera TV commercial – I never saw the final result… I wonder what they replaced the green screen with…

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Slendertone – a regular Shopping Channel client… I think they got a good deal – they matched the wig to the outfit and I became many people for the price of one 🙂

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The Ralph holographic magazines of the future! Magazine ad for an IT company, I think.