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Sisters and puppies

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Just a cute little post to encourage a laugh and smile on a Friday afternoon.

The sleeping puppy above (small black mound of fur) is Bella, and that’s my youngest sister in 2004 – the only photo a sleeping dog I can find atm to header this post.

First, if you haven’t seen the “Sleepwalking Dog” then watch this first:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LzMAXqu8qU[/youtube]

And now check out my crazy sister!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8krBx9X1do[/youtube]

That’s my Opa at the end of the clip – taken less than one month ago after he returned from hospital… he looks so healthy. Man what three weeks without food can do 🙁

Happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts…

On uncovering the sleeping puppy photo I took a short trip down memory lane, uncovering another couple of photos I just had to share:

bella at the beach

In the next one she looks like my Galapagos sea lion pups all covered with sand…

IMGP1471

How cute are my sisters and little baby Bella!!!

And a closing quote (that doesn’t really have anything to do with sisters or puppies – although if you know Bella’s story you may beg to differ) – that I recently saw in a toilet cubicle of the fairtrade coffee shop in Glebe:

“Better to regret something you did, then to regret something you didn’t do.”

So as Aunty Jack might say “farewell my lovelies” – get out there and have an unregrettable weekend!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnEOr1MgwTM[/youtube]

Random Life Stuff,

Depression

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Sometimes life just sucks. For no reason in particular. And for every reason in particular. You know that feeling? Or am I the only one…

The funny thing is that nothing has really changed. I’m still living with my Opa, I’m still at uni, I’m still writing and reading and living life doing the things I love. But I feel shit.

Granted my Opa is wasting away before my eyes, he hardly eats anything any more and at 94 is on the brink of, well, of death.

The sunroom I study in used to be paradise, sun streaming inside and looking out to a wall of green trees and vines; but a new fence and conscientious gardeners tore it down.

It’s cold and raining, and feels as if it’s been grey skies forever (even if it’s only been a few days).

It takes a lot of energy and stubbornness to keep optimism in regards to the subjects I’m studying. Things really don’t look good for humanity’s future and reading one or two articles that reinforce humanity’s greed, my attitude easily shifts to a more pessimistic perspective.

Now I have to pull out another essay on poverty and sustainability, within the next 14 days, and prepare for a very tough exam. That will be the completion of my Masters, and I have to figure out what the heck comes next. I’ve been trying to find a supervisor for a PhD but it’s proving more difficult than I had thought (and has to be done in the next 4 days). I also have interview with a big corporate company I don’t want to work for, urgh!

On top of all this I have a slipped into a routine of two or more coffees a day, half a block of chocolate or more, and a chips & a beer or two at night – each one justified by my circumstances “I deserve it” don’t I?

All of the above is doing my head in. I feel tired. I feel shit. I feel fat. I feel tired. I don’t have a boyfriend. I lost my ipod. I think I’ll go and eat worms.

I have friends who do cheer me up. My mentor brought me a coffee this morning, talked me through my essay, and provided me encouragement and direction. Told me to put some of my worries, like about the state of humanity, on the sideline for now. To acknowledge that I am going to stay here while my Opa gets closer to leaving this world, it is going to be hard. I know that.

My friend Charlie told me yesterday that in order to have the positivist, optimism and idealistic attitude I generally have toward humanity and our planet, I have to experience these pessimistic, sceptical, depressive states; and that I should accept it. I do accept it. But it doesn’t make it any easier to get through it.

Another thing playing on my mind is something I realised as I watched Ten Canoes last night (a movie set in Australia prior to the arrival of the British). Even in nomadic hunter/gatherer cultures you see conflict and struggles, mostly over women.

Men by nature are powerful fighters, and what do they want? Women. As many women as possible. And to spread their seed, create the strongest tribe. Has man really evolved from this state? Are women still the most desired object for a man?

Are capitalist quests undertaken in the same vein as quests throughout history – quests to impress women and get the best woman or win sex with as many as they can? In Marilyn’s words, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” – if women want diamonds and nice “things”, are impressed by fancy cars, money, housing, holidays – security and easy life etc…. – then is that why men in our culture strive so hard for wealth?

Does this mean that if you change what women are attracted to, men will change to win the women? If women are attracted to men who really care about the world, attracted to creativity rather than capital, and if they are turned off by wealth (it is possible, I know because I am one of these women), – then maybe wealth accumulation will slip to the sideline, and we will get back to prioritising the things that are really important: relationships, love, achieving our potential, expressing our true selves.

Hey, is that a hint of optimism starting to come back?

I just wanna feel like I felt posing for the picture at the top of this page (taken by Wendell Teodoro in King St Wharf in 2008). I wanna feel invincible, like I can achieve anything, a ‘superwoman’ like in Alicia Keys song, do you know the one? She described so much of what I am feeling:

“Everywhere I’m turning nothing seems complete

I stand up and I’m searching for the better part of me

Hang my head from sorrows – state of humanity

Wearing on my shoulders, gotta find the strength in me”

“For all the mothers fighting, for better days to come

All my women sitting here trying to come home before the sun

All my sisters coming together saying yes I will yes I can

Why is that? Cause I am, Superwoman, Yes I am.”

Writing about it helps. Posting it, sharing it with the world – I don’t know if that’s a good thing to do but it does make me feel a little better. I guess in this strange digital network of individual identities, we communicate and at least our minds can connect and become more than what we are in our separateness. I guess if humanity is approaching apocalyptic catastrophe, at least we are all facing it together.

🙁

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Live life for money

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Live life for money

Accumulate many things

Get into debt

Rejoice what this brings:

…

More work, less time

Fear material loss

Forget impermanence

Decay of time is boss

…

What’s left is a story

A story of Capital

Of slavery to a system

Of exploitation, greed and battle

…

The poor are famished

So the “rich” can get fat

Anti-depressants prescribed

Are we blind as a bat?

…

Like vampires we suck

Our earth’s blood dry

Chop down our trees,

Destroy clean air supply

…

Our planet is straining

Millions to billions in 200 years

Our reckless neglect

Brings no one to tears

…

“A tax on emissions

will solve everything”

“But it’s not my fault!”

Libs continue to sing

…

No one is responsible

The bottom line rules

Here we are dictated to

By a whole bunch of fools

…

Copenhagen approaches

We need to think BIG

Look past the next election

Shift the system to peace

…

A communistic-capitalism?

Valuing lives over wealth

Stop consuming, stop exploitation

Start planning, love in action.

Random Life Stuff

At the precipice…

Written by Juliet Bennett
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“Only on the brink of disaster do people find the will to change.” “Our sun was dying, we had to evolve.” “Nothing ever truly dies. Everything simply transforms.”

(I found these quotes in my diary. I think they are from The Day the Earth Stood Still.)

What will it take for us to change? Our future comes at a price – to human lifestyles and choices.

There are few planets hospitable to life. We are ridiculously lucky to be here. AND to be self-aware is a miracle to say the least. Are we going to throw all this away just so we can drive our cars, fly our planes, motor our boats and eat our copious amounts of food???

I’m not sure exactly what any solutions are. But they do start with us…

Last night at midnight I handed in the most difficult essay I’ve every written (thank god for email and midnight deadlines!) It is for a subject called Politics of World Economy, and I titled the essay “Addressing a Structural Violence in the International Political Economy”. I better wait till its marked till i post it, so today instead I decided to just post the reflections that follow on from it which, of course, I had to start from the biggest picture possible…

A macro perspective of our place in space and time reveals three things:

1. An awe of existence;

2. An awe of our place in the evolving creation of an increasingly complex universe;

3. An awe that humans are actually aware of #1&2.

A similar perspective draws one’s attention to the potential calamities resulting from:

4. Over-population, vast inequalities, abusive power structures, over-consumption, and habitat-destruction – effectively placing humanity on a path heading toward extinction;

5. Conflicts rising from with identity, religious, cultural and ideological battles that largely result from #4;

6. A lack of the macro perspective of #1-5, which may lead to an even earlier extinction than forcasted.

Analysis of the international political economy shows that:

7. Global capitalism places with power not in the hands of governments, but in the hands of those with capital; while those in debt (through mortgages, credit cards, or even paying rent on your apartment/house) are in effect their slaves;

8. Capitalism is based on market expansion ie increasing consumption – one thing our planet can no longer handle. Stop consuming = system failure.

9. Social and environmental responsibility is diffused throughout the system so that no individuals feel responsible for anything outside of economic profits and losses.

So who is going to make a change?

10. Governments are representatives of the people’s priorities- the stability of our bank accounts and property markets. Governments are often too short-sighted (and focused on the next election) to work toward any real long-term solutions.

11. A change of economic structure to one that does not prioritise capital accumulation regardless of the social and environmental destructive consequences – requires a change in values – the values of the people at the top, and the people on the ground.

12. Appealing to “enlightened self-interest” – with a widespread realisation that continuing on our current trajectory will, without a doubt, end with devastating calamity – seems to be the only way a change is possible.

Photo 1

“At the precipice we change”… well guess what ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at the precipice… so we better frickin change!!! Two hundred years ago the world population was 900 million, now it is what like 6 billion!!! Capitalism and industrialisation has caused the humanity to increase by 600%. Insane! What are we? Some kind of virus rampantly spreading across earth’s surface, killing off everything in our path and murdering our host in the process? And kids are still popping out of mother’s bellies at continuing exponential proportions. If this is not the precipice I don’t know what is.

An opportunity stands before us, an opportunity to TRANSFORM. An opportunity to take our old ways of thinking and acting, and create new ones. To take a humanity trapped in a culture-ideology of consumerism ridden with identity battles over religion and politics, and to transform it into one that allows us to realise our intrinsic connection to all life and our planet, and allows us to pursue our individual and collective life purposes in the evolving creation of our increasingly complex universe.

Just like this little lady beetle we have arrived at the precipice and we have a choice: learn to fly, or die!!!

Adventure, Peace, Random Life Stuff,

Death, life-commitments & a horse’s penis

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Lake Titicaca

It all began on Friday morning when my Opa said to me “I’m not well. I’m feeling dizzy.” I held his hand. He was freezing. I called the Doctor, and then the ambulance. I put a blanket on him, the heater next to him and lay his chair flat. He was getting colder and more faint – as if the life force was slowly evaporating. He’s 94 and I’ve lived with him for two and a half years. “You’re ready for this” I told myself as I I held back the tears and then tried my best to hide them when I could hold them back no longer. In my mind this was it.

But it wasn’t. A quick ride in the ambulance and a long day in the Emergency Ward, the colour returned to his face, his life-force returning to circulate his blood and animate his bones. He is still in the hospital recovering from some strange infection that managed to lower his temperature to 33.5 degrees. The doctors still can’t identify where the infection was, or where it came from. Life conquered death once again. Apparently this 94 year man still has enough reasons to kick on a little longer on our dying planet and inside our funny little human reality.

In the time that has passed since Friday’s scare, my life has shifted from photographing 150 people full-of-life live life to the full at my sister’s engagement party; to creating systems and designing database reports for various departments of my Dad’s business;  to today’s adventures riding horses along the Hawkesbury River (one of the myriad prizes my Mum wins in random magazine competitions) which unfortunately included a very disturbing image of the longest pee ever spurting out of the hugest penis I’ve ever seen (not that I’ve seen that many)… ewwwwww!!! I really didn’t need to see that thank you Pluto (my horse for the day that definitely had no sense of decency.) Following two hours of trotting through rain forest the five of us hobbled as if we were my Opa’s age back to our cushioned car seats for a far more comfortable drive back to Sydney.

Strangely enough I found the experience enlightening for the essay I’ve been working on in every moment in between the above (ahhh it’s due in less than a week) on the relationship between agency and structure of the World Political Economy. I’m trying to identify how the structure of our economic and political system causes poverty and who has the power to do anything about it – to which I’m hoping hoping the answer is you & me.

Praying to the universe it wasn’t my day to fall off and break my back I dug my heels into the innocent horse’s sides and pulled tight the reins and using my stern voice so he knows “who the master is” as I’d been instructed and I found myself comparing human’s approach to animals to human’s approach to humans. I guess it came down to a few things: 1. Slavery  2. Self-determination and 3. What was my part in all this.

If I was a horse I would want to be a wild horse where I could gallop where I liked when I liked, free to be me. Self-determination. Similarly if I was born in a country of the “developing world” I would want to be able to live my own culture or choose to be part of the global culture, whether or not we actually want to “develop”, and whichever we choose I’d want it to happen in a way that wasn’t positioning me in a global economy that effectively takes from the poor and gives to the rich. Slavery surrounds us. Not only these people in “poor” countries who work for nothing so that people in “rich” countries can work less and get all the materialistic things they want. But even the “not-so-rich” in the “rich” countries are slaves to mortgages and dreams about the joys of retirement that by the time we get there we are too old and sick to enjoy. What does it come down to? Self-determination. Empowerment to make choices for oneself. Self-determination is even the answer to my issues with religion. Education rather than indoctrination so to empower individuals to articulate and question rather than accept and blindly adhere to.

To say my mind is a bit scrambled with these juxtaposition of events is an understatement but strangely enough rambling about it to the world helps, even if just a little. The very strange thing about all of these things that have happened in the last four days, from near-death to life-commitments to slavery of humans and horses is that they have one thing in common: they all surround us. We may not be conscious of all these things all the time, but they are all existing simultaneously, side-by-side.

So what is my part in all this? Well at least on the political-economic landscape I’m hoping my research will point to people like me –  individuals living in the developed world – who actually do have the power to, together, stand up and make a difference. I think with all issues, be they empowering individuals (human or animal) the ability to make choices for themselves we together can change anything. I’m not saying, per say, that we shouldn’t train horses for us to ride them, but I do feel a certain empathy towards the horse destined to walk tiny trails with 80kg men hoisted on their backs and never fulfill it’s dreams of being wild and free. I was once a tamed horse living that mundane existence where every day was determined by someone with greater power. I am now a wild horse. I have (at least in some small part) escaped boundaries society dictates and I feel free (at least in some small way) to determine my own destiny. If a horse wants to run away and be wild there is really nothing but it’s mind, the way it has been conditioned to behave, that is holding it back.

All in all I have had a good weekend: my Opa didn’t die, my sister is happily engaged, I didn’t fall off my horse, and my essay ideas are slowly evolving in exciting ways. Now I just have to write down these ideas and reduce them into the tiny 3500 word-limit within the 6 days… keep your fingers crossed for me…

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I’m late

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Time is my most valued asset. Time is money. And money (in its intended design) is a store of time. Money effectively allows us to trade our time for the time of others.

Numbers in bank accounts provide me no pleasure. It seems to provide a deluded sense of security. Financial collapses happen too regularly to place all my eggs in that basket. I’ve just been learning about Argentina in the 90s – those digits can mean wealth one day and mean nothing the next. Accumulation of capital, anything material, or even digital, has little value to me  – while time lost can never be regained.

I LOVE time alone. Time in silence. Time in chaos. Writing. Reading. Time spent deep in conversation. Time relaxing. Time eating. Time sleeping.

And there is nothing worse to me than time lost or wasted. Waiting in line. Sitting in traffic. Computers crashing. Cleaning up.

My choice of rabbit costume for my cousin’s Alice in Wonderland party was more than appropriate. In trying to maximise how I use my time I am often be running late or arrive just in the nick of time.

Strangely enough following this logic I actually like it when people are late or even when they blow off our plans (unless I’m hungry and I’m waiting for dinner) I feel like I’ve being given a gift – time I would otherwise not have had. If I’m at home this means time to clean up my messy papers, pay a bill, send an invoice – all the things I endlessly put-off ‘until tomorrow.’ If I’m out I always have a book in my bag and more than happy to sit in my car and read. Random yes I know.

I love the way sometimes time speeds up, and sometimes it slows right down. Sometimes I like to press pause – daydream, reminisce, go on a wild rollarcoaster ride of contemplation – and hit play again to realign my mind with the ticking clock.

This entry was initially inspired a few days ago when my yoga teacher told us about her friend’s parents house being destroyed by a fire. The girl got out with nothing but her mobile phone. Her parents were overseas and when she called them to tell them the news and they responded by saying: “We had too much anyway.”

“It makes you realise that the things that matter are the things that can’t be taken away from you,” her friend had said to her. “Friendships, knowledge, experiences, your yoga practice. Material assets are not what is most valuable in life… It really makes you think about where you put your time.” True words of wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It’s quite Taoist hey! Not really what you expect in the Christian Bible (one of many unexpected things you can find in there) The whole of this short book of Ecclesiastes is an interesting and slightly depressing rant about the meaning of life – times haven’t changed as much as we’d like to think.

To conclude this messy rant about time I would like to say that there really is a time for everything. And as you all know I think it’s about time for peace.

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“I have an excellent idea – let’s change the subject!”

Written by Juliet Bennett
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My blog has gotten a quite intensely serious. Religion, philosophy and peace talk. Interesting but reflective of the subjects going on in my mind, it has become a little draining. Or maybe today I’m just a little tired. Either way I do believe I should listen to the March Hare’s excellent idea – and change the subject.

So… a question… at the end of a long relaxing shower do you ever turn the hot to off and blast yourself with cold water?

This is seriously one of the most invigorating things in the world. It’s like having ten cups of coffee – your mind becomes alert, your body stands tall and you say to yourself “YEAH BABY!” Well I do anyway. It snaps me into action. It’s like changing the subject in the middle of an intense conversation and starting a new one from scratch. For a short 30 seconds or 15 when I’m a wuss, all I think about is the feeling of cold water touching your skin, and noticing what it does to the rest of my body.

When I find my mind in a strange airy fairy place it is not until I change the subject per say, that I realise why. I realise then what has caused my mind’s confusion. There are few little things in my life that make all the difference to my mind’s coherence:

A walk – be it short or long – clears the mind.

A pilates or yoga class – be it a 20 min dvd or an hour and a half bikram class – reconnects the mind with the body.

And one of these cold bursts in the shower – makes all the wishy washy bullshit my mind has been pondering over disappear.

When I do these three things and the clouds part and the sun shines.

I’m going to keep this in mind this week and when I’m bored or tired or confused or irritated or over-it I’m simply going to change the subject.

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Things aren’t always what they seem

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Back at bikram yoga yesterday I looked back into the big horrible mirrors and smiled – my tummy looked thin and flat. This was only my third class and I was already getting great results. Then I stepped to the left and the image changed before my eyes. My tummy was round and tubby again. What the…??? I tested a few more locations on the mirror and confirmed it – THE MIRROR WAS WARPED.

Neither the fat version nor the thin version was me. Yet at the same time both were me. Even if neither reflections were completely true, they were both attempts at displaying the truth. I suppose when you consider light and angles, no mirror ever provides an entirely accurate reflection of reality. A still mirrors are a useful instrument – better something than nothing.

Similarly when it comes to way we interpret the world around us. We all tell ourselves a story of some sort in order to explain our existence and purpose. We define ourselves with stories to give us a sense of identity, help us understand who and what we actually are. Do we know any of these answers? Do any of our stories provide us a absolute understanding of reality? I doubt it. But they are still important. I enjoying having a mirror (no matter how accurate) to judge if I’m looking fat or thin and similarly the stories I am surrounded by provide me an understanding of my consciousness – the accuracy is somewhat beside the point.

“Change the way you see things, and the things you see will change.” My yoga teacher said.

I started thinking about our individual perspectives of what we see around us – none are actually a true reflection of reality either. They are interpretations of reality – everything is an interpretation. Everything is relative – only a reflection of the absolute – never providing a complete understanding of the absolute itself.

Same with all our narratives really. We can tell the same story, with the same facts, in completely different lights. It’s our choice what light or angle we are going to put on it.

Just compare the documentary Zeitgeist to what I’m learning about Political Economics. Both are talking about the same thing – what Zeitgeist describes as a shocking system of social slavery Capitalism promotes as “good economics” and an “efficient distribution of resources.” Both are describing the same facts: a system of value-less paper we call money and a few people at the top owning the world, pulling the strings while the people at the bottom work to pay off  mortgages.  Two versions of the same facts. Like my thin and fat reflections, both were reflecting me but neither entirely accurate. Things aren’t always what they seem.

Random Life Stuff, Truth,

Temporality & my chocolate belly

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Ok I know that’s a shocking photo (it’s from a family celebration for my sister’s engagement last night which makes it even worse)… but I think it’s worth a laugh. And I tell you what, the chocolate semi fredo I’m licking is the very best dessert in the world… and today I could tell…

I went to my first bikram yoga class tonight and in the 40+ degree heat I had a revelation.

Mirrors are commonplace in yoga studios but the nature of bikram leads one to strip off to bare essentials and in front of me I saw the consequence of last night’s dessert as well as what I can only assume is a result of last two years of full-on writing, not so much exercise, and too much indulging on my one true love (and brain food as I tell myself): chocolate. Ok it’s not an absolutely horrible tummy, and the ad hoc pilates classes I teach has ensured it is still in a reasonably toned condition but I tell you what – it’s a hell of a lot wider than the 60cm waistline it once was… That was NOT my revelation. I know I’ve put on a few kilos since I finished full time modeling, and I really don’t think my little body complaints are what you want to read or what I want to shout out to the world.

My revelation came as the yoga instructor told us to love everything ourselves and treat ourselves with love. I looked at my belly and thought, hmmm how can I love this? And then it came to me. I CAN love it. I can love it in this moment – accepting that this moment that it is a temporary state. ‘Bikram will going to change everything’ I tried to convince myself, also vowing to cut down on excessive indulgences in order to morph my body at least a little bit closer to my preferred measurements.

Ok I know this all a very superficial rant but there is a deeper message to come…

In the car I drove in silence and let my mind continue down this stream of thought: the temporal states from which we experience our lives. That is, the temporal state of mind – how in every moment we can learn something new and change everything we think. And a temporal state of body – our cells constantly regenerating and, depending on our lifestyle, our body constantly changes for good or bad.

Then I contemplated our soul. Does our soul change? I’m not so sure. Maybe this is the only non-temporal part of us?

Half asleep as I write (this yoga is fricking intense, dehydrating, and well maybe after my 10 day trial I can let you know if it’s worth it…) I googled ‘temporality’ because I thought it was a word but my spell checker was telling me it wasn’t. Anyway wikipedia informed me that temporality refers to philosophizing about time – be it linear, circular or other… and how a temporal morality (temporality for short) refers to a moral philosophy based in the belief that “the ultimate commodity any person has is their own time (i.e. their life, lifespan, their time in the present) and they are free to spend that time as they wish as long as their actions do not impinge on (harm) another person’s time (via injury, theft, lies, etc.).” I like this.

Life is a wave that our soul rides: our consciousness simultaneously creates and experiences and we morph like the rolling waters – living in the moment and knowing that one day arrive at the shore. We may long for the safety of the shore but I think that it is the day we get there that we will reminisce the open ocean, the excitement of the unknowns and the metamorphosis we were experiencing in fear.

Getting to the point. We can change our minds and bodies in whatever ways we want in the moments to come but seeing as they are the way they are in the present we may as well embrace them. It’s about the process, not the result. We can love ourselves as we are today and plan for what states we want to be in tomorrow. I guess that means I should love my chocolate belly right now and (hopefully) enjoy watching it shrink in those massive yoga mirrors…  😛

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