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India’s default detox

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Next Thursday I am going to India and I have a feeling I will be making up for the failure of my February detox.

My sister tells me coffee in India sucks, so that’s a start. I wonder if they have chocolate? … Suppose I’ll need a little mayhem after presenting my paper at a Peace and Education conference in Mumbai, but I’ll for sure make up for that at a 7-days Ayurvedayoga retreat. Following yoga, hot baths, massages and healthy foods, I’ll be doing it rough and tough with 10-days on trains and little towns in Rajasthan, and my trip ends with 2-weeks of trekking in Nepal…

Well that’s the plan – how much I stick to it I don’t know, I’ve never been so organised before boarding the plane. It feels strange. The last week felt like painful wild goose chase, but now that I have the flights booked, accommodation (at least for the first few nights) confirmed, and rough schedule planned, I’m starting to relax. I just can’t wait to be on the plane…

Whatever happens I’m sure it will be five weeks of mind-expanding, spiritually enlightening, and physically challenging stuff, however the universe throws it to me.

If I manage to get a 3G sim card my plan is to TWEET my adventures – it’s about time I get into the whole twitter thing…

And so long as internet cafes are scattered here and there I’ll share the journey on this blog too – with photos and stories.

Either way stay tuned, follow me on twitter if you use it, and if there isn’t much on here for a month then keep your fingers crossed that I am still alive.

Photo:

This photo doesn’t make much sense considering it is of tai chi, and in Sydney, but seeing that my blog doesn’t work without pictures, I had to choose something… this was from a Sydney newspaper a couple of years ago when I was learning tai chi. Tai chi makes you feel very centered but is one of those things that slips away from life unnoticed. I would like to learn more but I guess my trip would best be to China if I were to do that… next time.

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On the tenth day of detox

Written by Juliet Bennett
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So, all was going well, the swelling on my ankle was very slowly starting to disappear when… OUCH!!! I DID AGAIN… On my first morning walk in two weeks, as I enter Trumper Park, it goes on me. I fall to the ground and hit hard. F**K.

I stand up and hobble toward my apartment. I feel faint. The world is spinning. My vision is closing in. I have to stop. I sit on the curb. Then try again. A few steps later I sit. Finally, somehow, I make it home.

My friend takes me to a physio. It’s not broken, thank God, but I have done some pretty serious ligament damage. I get a nice boot to walk around in for the next few days. At least finally I’m getting it cared for I guess.

I want something to cheer me up. I deserve something to cheer me up. Decafe coffee doesn’t count does it?

‘Mmmm mmmm!’ I say as I take a sip. ‘Decafe is actually really good, after not having any coffee for ten days.’

‘Argh.. hmm…’ my friend says as she sips hers. ‘I’m not sure yours is decafe,’ she says, having ordered a regular. She is right – hers tastes watery. Mine tastes good. But she has added sugar to hers… ‘What do you want, sugar or caffeine?’ she laughs.

‘I’ve already had a few sips… and… I’m really enjoying this,’ I say, feeling like a drug addict getting his first hit in years.

And that was my tenth day of detox.

And I had been going so well…

Day six I woke up again at 620am. What’s with that? Full of energy. I’m not complaining. I get up and started writing. I have cravings for anything. I have temptations, especially when people talk about coffee and when I get a good whiff of it. God it smells good. But no desire to cave in.

I believe the only sugar I’ve really eaten these last ten days is honey, a lot of honey. The only drug that might also have taken in is the pott that sometimes whifts into my room from somewhere in my neighbourhood… particularly effective when breathed in while practicing yoga. Yes, feeling a bit spacey. Strange.

I go to bed around 1am, and wake on the seventh day at 8am, full of energy, excited to start the day. It’s raining. I do 20 minutes of yoga and eat breakfast and get into some writing. I am feeling lighter. Much lighter.

And so on… and so on…

So. I lasted ten days, but it wasn’t my fault. Now I am an invalid in a ski boot. That’s not where I was supposed to be by now.

I haven’t given up altogether. I’m going to keep going besides today’s slip up. When you fall of the horse…

Random Life Stuff,

The Christmas Pudge… and a Love of Beer

Written by Juliet Bennett
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So I borrowed my mum’s scales to check the Christmas damage. 64 kilos. What the f??? I don’t step on scales so often, judging by measurement more than kilos. But, well, “in the day” I weighed 55kgs. And on average I think I’m around 58-60kgs. I’ve seen myself at 62kgs, and I know I’ve complained about feeling fat on this website before. But 64???

Ok, time to get back into routine: a walk in the morning before breakfast to reconnect my mind and body; a yoga or pilates session a few times a week, teaching it if possible so I can get paid for it rather than pay; and no more beer. At least for a little while. The poggy beer belly has to go. Or chocolate. And no more cheese. Well that’s was my resolution this morning.

I got home today from working a good three and a half hours at the office (being a casual has it’s pluses, and its minuses – depending on how you look at it) and had the choice: beer or pilates. I surprised myself and put on some ultra relaxing yoga music, pulled out the beautiful yoga mat I got for Christmas and did, well, at least I did thirty minutes of it. The stretching felt insanely incredible, as it always does but particularly when it’s been a while. The repetitions of butt exercises killed more than usual, again as it does when it’s been a while.

And then, the gorgeous funky little bar stool I bought today (when there wasn’t enough work to justify my being there) was calling my bottom, singing out: “come on, sit, try me out, do some writing, check your email, write something for your blog…” So here I am, drinking a beer and writing this entry. Hey, my friend left me coronas after NY, along with far too much chocolate and cheese, what am I supposed to do?

But it’s ok, I’m back on the upward spiral. I did half an hour of pilates and literally looking in the mirror I can see the difference: in my fresher-looking skin, brighter-looking eyes, and straightened up poster. “Half-an-hour did that?!” Yep – that’s what proper breathing does – it pumps oxygen through your system. That’s what mind-body connection and good posture does – encourages a central nervous system that works efficiently. My mind felt relaxed, centred, alert. That’s right – now I remember why I like pilates.

I’m not in a huge hurry to loose my Christmas pudge; I might even enjoy it for a (hopefully brief) moment. In good time I’ll be teaching pilates again and seeing as out the window the blue sky seems to have pushed away the clouds, I guess my “it’s raining” excuse is pushed out of existence too. These two little tricks seem to speed the metabolism enough to carry me through my little vices… so metabolic rate you had better bucker up – cause I’m not ready to stop enjoying the beer, or the chocie or the cheese – at least not while they’re lurking in my fridge.

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“I have an excellent idea – let’s change the subject!”

Written by Juliet Bennett
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My blog has gotten a quite intensely serious. Religion, philosophy and peace talk. Interesting but reflective of the subjects going on in my mind, it has become a little draining. Or maybe today I’m just a little tired. Either way I do believe I should listen to the March Hare’s excellent idea – and change the subject.

So… a question… at the end of a long relaxing shower do you ever turn the hot to off and blast yourself with cold water?

This is seriously one of the most invigorating things in the world. It’s like having ten cups of coffee – your mind becomes alert, your body stands tall and you say to yourself “YEAH BABY!” Well I do anyway. It snaps me into action. It’s like changing the subject in the middle of an intense conversation and starting a new one from scratch. For a short 30 seconds or 15 when I’m a wuss, all I think about is the feeling of cold water touching your skin, and noticing what it does to the rest of my body.

When I find my mind in a strange airy fairy place it is not until I change the subject per say, that I realise why. I realise then what has caused my mind’s confusion. There are few little things in my life that make all the difference to my mind’s coherence:

A walk – be it short or long – clears the mind.

A pilates or yoga class – be it a 20 min dvd or an hour and a half bikram class – reconnects the mind with the body.

And one of these cold bursts in the shower – makes all the wishy washy bullshit my mind has been pondering over disappear.

When I do these three things and the clouds part and the sun shines.

I’m going to keep this in mind this week and when I’m bored or tired or confused or irritated or over-it I’m simply going to change the subject.

Random Life Stuff,

Things aren’t always what they seem

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Back at bikram yoga yesterday I looked back into the big horrible mirrors and smiled – my tummy looked thin and flat. This was only my third class and I was already getting great results. Then I stepped to the left and the image changed before my eyes. My tummy was round and tubby again. What the…??? I tested a few more locations on the mirror and confirmed it – THE MIRROR WAS WARPED.

Neither the fat version nor the thin version was me. Yet at the same time both were me. Even if neither reflections were completely true, they were both attempts at displaying the truth. I suppose when you consider light and angles, no mirror ever provides an entirely accurate reflection of reality. A still mirrors are a useful instrument – better something than nothing.

Similarly when it comes to way we interpret the world around us. We all tell ourselves a story of some sort in order to explain our existence and purpose. We define ourselves with stories to give us a sense of identity, help us understand who and what we actually are. Do we know any of these answers? Do any of our stories provide us a absolute understanding of reality? I doubt it. But they are still important. I enjoying having a mirror (no matter how accurate) to judge if I’m looking fat or thin and similarly the stories I am surrounded by provide me an understanding of my consciousness – the accuracy is somewhat beside the point.

“Change the way you see things, and the things you see will change.” My yoga teacher said.

I started thinking about our individual perspectives of what we see around us – none are actually a true reflection of reality either. They are interpretations of reality – everything is an interpretation. Everything is relative – only a reflection of the absolute – never providing a complete understanding of the absolute itself.

Same with all our narratives really. We can tell the same story, with the same facts, in completely different lights. It’s our choice what light or angle we are going to put on it.

Just compare the documentary Zeitgeist to what I’m learning about Political Economics. Both are talking about the same thing – what Zeitgeist describes as a shocking system of social slavery Capitalism promotes as “good economics” and an “efficient distribution of resources.” Both are describing the same facts: a system of value-less paper we call money and a few people at the top owning the world, pulling the strings while the people at the bottom work to pay off  mortgages.  Two versions of the same facts. Like my thin and fat reflections, both were reflecting me but neither entirely accurate. Things aren’t always what they seem.

Random Life Stuff, Truth,

Temporality & my chocolate belly

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Ok I know that’s a shocking photo (it’s from a family celebration for my sister’s engagement last night which makes it even worse)… but I think it’s worth a laugh. And I tell you what, the chocolate semi fredo I’m licking is the very best dessert in the world… and today I could tell…

I went to my first bikram yoga class tonight and in the 40+ degree heat I had a revelation.

Mirrors are commonplace in yoga studios but the nature of bikram leads one to strip off to bare essentials and in front of me I saw the consequence of last night’s dessert as well as what I can only assume is a result of last two years of full-on writing, not so much exercise, and too much indulging on my one true love (and brain food as I tell myself): chocolate. Ok it’s not an absolutely horrible tummy, and the ad hoc pilates classes I teach has ensured it is still in a reasonably toned condition but I tell you what – it’s a hell of a lot wider than the 60cm waistline it once was… That was NOT my revelation. I know I’ve put on a few kilos since I finished full time modeling, and I really don’t think my little body complaints are what you want to read or what I want to shout out to the world.

My revelation came as the yoga instructor told us to love everything ourselves and treat ourselves with love. I looked at my belly and thought, hmmm how can I love this? And then it came to me. I CAN love it. I can love it in this moment – accepting that this moment that it is a temporary state. ‘Bikram will going to change everything’ I tried to convince myself, also vowing to cut down on excessive indulgences in order to morph my body at least a little bit closer to my preferred measurements.

Ok I know this all a very superficial rant but there is a deeper message to come…

In the car I drove in silence and let my mind continue down this stream of thought: the temporal states from which we experience our lives. That is, the temporal state of mind – how in every moment we can learn something new and change everything we think. And a temporal state of body – our cells constantly regenerating and, depending on our lifestyle, our body constantly changes for good or bad.

Then I contemplated our soul. Does our soul change? I’m not so sure. Maybe this is the only non-temporal part of us?

Half asleep as I write (this yoga is fricking intense, dehydrating, and well maybe after my 10 day trial I can let you know if it’s worth it…) I googled ‘temporality’ because I thought it was a word but my spell checker was telling me it wasn’t. Anyway wikipedia informed me that temporality refers to philosophizing about time – be it linear, circular or other… and how a temporal morality (temporality for short) refers to a moral philosophy based in the belief that “the ultimate commodity any person has is their own time (i.e. their life, lifespan, their time in the present) and they are free to spend that time as they wish as long as their actions do not impinge on (harm) another person’s time (via injury, theft, lies, etc.).” I like this.

Life is a wave that our soul rides: our consciousness simultaneously creates and experiences and we morph like the rolling waters – living in the moment and knowing that one day arrive at the shore. We may long for the safety of the shore but I think that it is the day we get there that we will reminisce the open ocean, the excitement of the unknowns and the metamorphosis we were experiencing in fear.

Getting to the point. We can change our minds and bodies in whatever ways we want in the moments to come but seeing as they are the way they are in the present we may as well embrace them. It’s about the process, not the result. We can love ourselves as we are today and plan for what states we want to be in tomorrow. I guess that means I should love my chocolate belly right now and (hopefully) enjoy watching it shrink in those massive yoga mirrors…  😛

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