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The day everything went wrong

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Today I got my first rejection from an academic journal I submitted a paper too.

Today I was reminded of my lack of knowledge and lack of experience.

Today I stressed about whether I would have to do jury duty.

Today I worried about a presentation I haven’t yet practiced.

Today I felt like I was stuck in a war zone inside my own head.

Today I was reminded that nothing comes easy.

Today I was reminded that I will never have all the answers.

And today I was reminded that while it may take a few tries, and involve going around in circles, eventually you realise that the circles are actually spirals and that you have arrived at your destination.

Let me tell you about my day…

At midday, before I started work, a Jewish American author and activist lectured about her experiences in Palestine and Israel. It left me confused and depressed. There are just so many issues intertwined: identity battles, discrimination against race or religion, about land and resources, weapons and violence, and cycles of oppressor and oppressed. Anna Baltzer spoke about the horror stories of the Palestinians, and thought about the horror stories I have also heard from the other side.

Anna’s stories made me think not only about Israel, but of the colonialisation of the rest of the world. There are two (or more) sides to every story. And each version of the story is passionate, emotional, and fully true in the eyes of the beholder.

I know from deep in the eyes of my Israeli friends the hurt they carry from the Holocaust, and the connection between the harm others have caused them and their desire to have their own nation state. And I, a white Australian, am the last person in the world who can point a finger and judge the occupation of land that is not rightfully theirs. Of course there are always stories within stories. There are stories that go back thousands of years and there are stories that go back millions. Depending on how you choose to frame your story will change the implications of the story you tell.

“Jews are rightful owners of the land – God promised it to them,” some say, quoting the Bible.

“No they’re not,” others say, “God banished them from it.”

Some extreme Fundamentalist Christian groups want the Jews to reclaim the land, hoping it will fasten the coming of the Armageddon.

Other Christians are Palestinians who suffer in poverty and oppression no thanks to their brothers.

Religion is (ab)used by humans to justify one thing or another, and an important point Anna made was distinguishing between:

–         an Israeli (someone who lives in Israel, which includes Palestinians – Jew, Christian, and Muslim),

–         a Zionist (someone who wants Israel to be a Jewish state which can include Christians),

–         a Jew (which might be by bloodline or/and by religious belief – noting that many Jews are secular).

These can all meet together in one person, but can also be separate, as seen in Anna who was an American-Jew who is not a Zionist or an Israeli.

This map above is a tough reality. What would a map of Australia before 1700, then 1800, 1900, 2000 – look like? Probably pretty much the same. At the end of the day, the horrors that the Palestinians live through every day appear, to me, as unacceptable. Yet so do the conditions that Aboriginal Australians live in – although this is not intentional – but does that mean it’s ok?

These are horrible predicaments. I was born in Australia and this is my beloved country. Am I an occupier or indigenous to this land? Where do I belong?

My Israeli friends born in Israel, who are forced to spend two or three years of their youth in the army, who stand at borders and follow orders and put their lives on the line for their people and their beloved country… where do they belong?

The world sucks in so many ways.

The world is a living hell for so many people. And for those who appear to be living in heaven, our minds are still tormented by the gross disparity and by the fear caught up in protection measures required to maintain our luxuries. No wonder I was depressed by the end of today. The events in the world seemed utterly hopeless.

It left me thinking that maybe I should give up on searching for truth. Maybe I don’t even want to know the truth – it’s too horrible and seems to be situations that are impossible to solve. Maybe I should give up on writing and academia, and go get a paper job that earns good money – close my eyes and ears, and pretend the world doesn’t happen like this? Luckily my day didn’t end on this nihilistic note. But this entry is long enough so I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow.

Truth

Optimal Trajectory: your choice, or chosen for you?

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Is your optimal trajectory something that you choose, or something that chooses you?

I think the answer to this question can be found in the study of narrative, quantum physics, and process philosophy – the topic areas I’m studying for my Master of Philosophy – so I’m sure after I’ve studied this further my answer will be far more articulate. But, led by intuition and whatever I’ve read, so far I’ll share my thoughts in brief:

I think the answer is BOTH. You choose this path, AND it chooses you.

I think this seeming contradiction is possibly through an expanded conception of “identity” – where “you” as your microcosmic individual consciousness are co-creating with the “you” that is the macrocosm of the universe we are a part of. (The macrocosm being the universal energies that religions personify as “God.)

So while I think your life is completely self-deterministic, I also hold it completely relational to the self-determinism of others, and the universe as a whole. That is, if I slap your face, you will experience your face being slapped. If this happened, it is probably due to something you said or did that motivated my action. Thoughts, actions, and consequences, between me and you and everyone and everything else, are intrinsically interrelated. If our sun dies, as it one day will, humanity (if they are still around) will also die.

I think that somehow, among the mysterious dimensions of this universe, every possibility exists side by side, yet the one that manifests is the one you choose to observe.

I think that if you listen to that emotions and energy you feel when you imagine a particular scenario for your life, then you’ll live the best life story for yourself that you can possibly live. I think the optimal scenario is most often one that allows you to live on forever, through the procreations you leave behind (be they in the form of ideas or children or other aspects of this reality you (hopefully positively) affect.)

In sum, I think you choose your own story, which is impacted by the stories others choose for themselves, and which will be closer to your optimal story the more you can preview the perspective of hindsight that a Universe transcending earth’s time limitations can see from.

If you “connect with the universe” by tuning your vibrations, beating in sync, and listening to the signs, then you can gain the power of hindsight before it’s due time. This means that you can write the story that will bring you (both the individual and the collective you), along the most optimal trajectory that you can (or even better than you can) imagine.

But of course, like I said in my last entry, all of this is much easier said than done.

Truth,

Practicing what I preach

Written by Juliet Bennett
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“It’s easier said than done.” I think we all have discovered this at some point or another. A couple of weeks ago I was struggling with a few big decisions and I punched the following rant into my phone on my way to work. In short, I consider the relationship between money, stories, optimal-trajectories, and the dynamics involved in putting these into practice. It’s not always easy to practice what you preach…

When you are happy, it’s easy to say that if you’re not happy you should change something. Figuring out what to change and actually changing it is another thing altogether.

When you have enough money to do the things you want to do, it’s easy to say you don’t care about money. It’s easy to say that you let creative passions & intuitions guide your life, and never money be a driver in your decisions.

When doors are opening as you approach, it’s easy to say it’s because you are “following the signs”, “listening to your intuition”, and “traveling along your optimal trajectory”.That’s easy when you feel like you’re in sync with the universe. During times where everything is falling into place without so much as a hiccup or a sneeze, it’s easy to preach about optimal trajectories. As long as the traffic lights are green, you can keep going. But what happens when you start to get caught at reds? Is this a sign that you’re going the wrong way?

Sometimes  “the signs” are blurry. It can seem as though a sign is pointing in many directions, and there is no way to know which road you should take.

I have faced some roadblocks in this last couple of months.

First, I found out I not only missed out on the scholarship, but my grades were 1.5% too low, making me ineligible to even apply for it. Second, my iMac broke. Third, the editor I hired to give me feedback and correct the grammar on my book had been taking forever.

What was “the universe” trying to tell me?

“Maybe that door’s closing,” suggested my Dad. “Maybe it’s time for a career change.” Subtext: go and get a “real job” in the business world, enjoy the money and security it brings.

It did seem like my plans to do a PhD over the full-time for the next three years with a scholarship – was a door firmly closing on me. And how can I survive without income? A part-time PhD will take forever. If not a PhD, what was I supposed to do?

Like always, I gave the business option some thought… Is my dad right? I am 28 now… Does this mean it’s time for me to “settle down”, get married, get a proper job, a mortgage, and start having babies???

Suddenly I wanted to puke.

I hate that word: “settle”…

It implies compromise.

It implies giving up on dreams.

It implies letting fear lead you to live a life you don’t really want to live.

Life’s too short for that.

From these thoughts and feelings I concluded that the “settle down story” is not the optimal trajectory for me.

Is it a sign that I should pack up my apartment, downsize to a backpack, and travel the world some more? Maybe. But then what about the research I so much want to do? What’s more important for me to do at this stage of my life?

My research thus far into narratology led to some interesting self-reflections on these thoughts. I was clearly looking for a new story. I wanted a story that explained these mishaps and which would set me up on a new trajectory, preferably the one that is optimal for my life.

What was I doing even considering the settle down option? After all I write about on this blog: about not letting money guide my decisions; about how I’m happy to live without security or a fixed plan; and about how important it is to follow one’s dreams… and yet another part of me was saying, “it’s too hard, the door is closed, it’s not meant to be.” I guess yin and yang of life means that no matter how much you believe in freedom, the voice of fear will always creep up inside you.

Am I going to let fear guide my future? No-sir-ee I am not.

I observed as my mind processed the variables, and contemplated possible scenarios. I watched as my mind sought more signs, did more research and tried to connect with “that” feeling one gets inside – that feeling of intuitive satisfaction one feels when they imagine living out a particular future.

I observed as my mind selected one story:

I was “meant” to continue my research without a scholarship. I could start with the smaller research degree – a Master of Philosophy – and then, should I feel so inclined, I could use this degree to get a scholarship and do a PhD after that. Yes it means more work, but maybe is part of the journey I am supposed to take. Yes. I would continue. I love what I’m studying, so why should I let a money-related issue stop me from doing it?

After I had decided on this story I suddenly felt great.

I felt relaxed, and full of an energy I hadn’t remembered experiencing in a long while. The kind of energy that seems to appear when you are connected to the universe. It’s almost drug like – this energy that seems to enter you from no-where – similar to when you do lot of exercise, eat a lot of chocolate, or fall in love. It wouldn’t surprise me if when one feels they are on their optimal trajectory, the same happy buttons in our brains light up.

Observing this mental process, and the emotions and feelings that connected with different stories, got me wondering about self-determinism and predestination.

Is your optimal trajectory something that you choose, or something that chooses you?

This entry has gone long enough. So I’ll finish there and revisit this question tomorrow…

Photo credits

Photographer – Gilbert Rossi

Random Life Stuff, Truth, , ,

Making time

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Time is an aspect of life I have always been a little obsessed over. It ticks by, “tick tock”, and never returns. When you are bored or doing something you hate it, goes by far too slow; and when you are busy or doing something you love, it goes by far too fast. While time is a somewhat relative dimension on our lives, it also seems to be the only absolute and unchanging aspect of our earthly existence. Time goes on, and on, and on; and I suppose it will keep doing so until our solar system stops expanding. Then, who knows, maybe it rewinds and starts again…

Anyway when it comes to time, one thing I’m acutely aware of at the moment, is that there quite simply is not enough of it.

Any regular readers of this blog might have noticed a drastic reduction of entries in the last month or so. That’s because, for the first time in about 8 years, I have a 9 to 5 job. It’s not even full time – I’m working a total of 3.5 days a week – and I actually love the job I’m doing (an admin role at the Center for Peace and Conflict Studies, University of Sydney and a communications role for my Dad’s business) but the new routine nature of my weeks is enough to make my weeks fly by in the blink of an eye.

A social life is part to blame. But hey, I’m 28, isn’t that what I’m “supposed” to be doing? And after a day of work it’s so easy to justify an after-work drink or dinner and then some television or a movie… another week well enjoyed and another week gone down the drain.

Lately I’ve observed my mind complaining that there is not enough time to work and sleep, to see this friend and skype with that friend, to reply to emails, to watch my sister’s netball game, do yoga, read the twenty or so books and pages and pages of articles waiting for me to read, and also to post entries on this blog.

What was God thinking when he created 24 hour days? How much better would it have been if they were 30 hours, even 28 hours – imagine having four more hours to read or sleep or sit in the sun or catch up with friends… I wonder if even that would be enough?

Anyway, for some reason or another, the earth takes 24 hours to rotate, giving us  a 24 hour framework with which to work, sleep, eat, and relax. Every 365 of these rotations and another year is added to our count, and another round of seasons we get to experience is crossed off the eighty-or-so rounds we get in this life.

I’ve lived through twenty-eight summers, I probably have about fifty-two to go.

That, along with a lot of other badly designed features of our planet (and especially our species), is a pretty good case against there being a God. Before I go down the path of God talk, distinguishing between different conceptions of “God” as a separate divine designer, or “God” a personification of the evolving macrocosm we are a part of, I will catch myself and return to today’s topic: making time.

I can complain all I like about there not being enough time to do the things I want to do, but it’s not going to change anything. I need to go back to those good ol’ principles of time management skills: set goals, prioritise the important ones, group & streamline the less important ones, don’t procrastinate, and learn to say no. Implementing these skills, while keeping in mind to live in the moment, enjoy the process, and follow your dreams, is probably far too many paradoxical self-help tips that my mind can deal with today.

I guess in the end the most important thing is to make sure you make time for the things that are most important to you.

We live within twenty-four, 365 days, for an average 80-years framework, so there’s no point complaining about it… we may as well embrace it. Twenty-four hours is plenty – so long as each day is lived to the full. On (western) average, these 29,200 days (80 x 365) in the one conscious is more-than-enough – so long as a whole you spend the time accomplishing whatever you feel you are on this planet to accomplish.

It’s time to make time.

Truth,

Potentialism: a new system based on humanity’s collective creative potential

Written by Juliet Bennett
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I posed this question to Q&A, a political TV show in Australia, sometime last year. They didn’t air it but it’s had a lot of views on their website, and a comment or two…

“We need a new system”

There is something fundamentally wrong with a system that puts profit before people and our planet. Billions suffer so that few of us can accumulate more “stuff”, leading to poverty, depression, and pollution If we continue our current trajectory, our own consumption will cause our own extinction. Big problems require big solutions. We don’t need another meaningless tax – we need to change the system.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqrikYS3EuM[/youtube]

As embarrassing as it is to watch, and as blonde, simplistic, idealist and immature as I sound (“capitalism equals extinction” lol… I’m the first to laugh at myself, so you’re welcome to join me), I think the ideas behind the question are important to address.

As I see it, we are at the precipice… https://julietbennett.com/2009/10/20/at-the-precipice/ … and we have to do something.

These are questions I have posed many times on this blog, and doing a full circle post-India’s hit of realism I revisit them and some of my old answers today.

How can we shift our system to one that doesn’t dictate a worship of capital?

What kind of system would not be based on an infinite growth in consumption?

How about a “stationary” economy that John Stuart Mill suggested in 1848?

How about a system that focuses on IMPROVEMENT rather than GROWTH – one that values the quality of our lives, not the quantity of stuff we accumulate?

How about valuing creativity over capital?

Creativity is the most joyous part of life, it’s where solutions to our problems come from, it’s how we evolve. And creativity is infinite!

Could “Creativism” be the answer to our political, economic and religious dilemmas?

The Urban Dictionary defines:

Creativism = ‘The theory or practice of creation as a way to live and understand life.’

Creativist = ‘someone who is attuned creatively to their surroundings; a person who understands and expresses their life through creative works or motifs.’

https://julietbennett.com/2009/09/10/creativism-a-philosophy-for-life/

A seemingly similar philosophy has been called “potentialism”.

Potentialism is a fast-spreading trend. Already since the GFC, one in five Australians are downsizing their wealth in order to dedicate their lives to the things they most enjoy.[1]

As the flight magazine I read on Virgin Blue summed, “We got greedy in the 1980s, grungy in the ’90s and geeky in the noughties. This decade, we’re eager to explore our potential.” [2] Read more here: https://julietbennett.com/2010/04/26/potentialism/

I couldn’t find an official definition of “potentialist” so from what i have read on the topic, I made up my own: A “potentialist” is an alchemist of potential – someone who strives to achieve their mental, physical and spiritual potential.

… I wonder what a society with a stable economy, focused quality not quantity, valuing creativity not capital, and with it’s sight set on the manifestation of our collective potential, would look like?

References:

[1] Deborah Robinson, Australians leading the way in a return to Global Financial Optimism (November 2009) URL: http://www.australianwomenonline.com/australians-leading-the-way-in-a-return-to-global-financial-optimism/

[2] “The Potentialists”, Virgin Blue Magazine (April 2010) pp. 34-38.

Photo: I snapped this on my phone on the weekend: kites, colour, sunshine, nature, friends – Bondi was alive as Sydneyites enjoyed the simple pleasures life has to offer.

Truth, ,

Imagining ten dimensions

Written by Juliet Bennett
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Okay, so we draw in two dimensions, live in three, and think in four (I guess seeing as most of our thought is based around time…). What would a fifth dimension look like? And a sixth? Or a tenth? Could other dimensions exist outside our own lived experiences?

This may help you imagine how such a strange idea could exist:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q_GQqUg6Ts[/youtube]

“I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.” J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds and Other Papers (1927), p. 286.

It’s a pretty queer place.

Picture:

The cover of a book written by a friend I made through this blog. James M. Harvey wrote “Singularia: Being At An Edge In Time – A Meditation and Thought Experiment While Crossing the Galactic Core” published by Alchemica Productions in Mullumbimby, NSW – a book based on the idea of the “Singularia” – defined as ‘A noun for which there is no plural form, but which is not grammatically uncountable. Example: information, humanity, consciousness.’ (p. vi.)

“Humanity” is one, and yet it is many. We are part of a universe, yet we contain a universe inside ourselves. Ten dimensions may exist, many universes within universes may exist, but it is all part of the same thing: it’s all a singularia.

This book reminded me that we are all together on this journey for truth and understanding of our place in the universe. Thank you James for contacting me and sharing your story. Check it out: http://www.singularia.com.au/

Truth

Are the laws of science and “God” the same thing?

Written by Juliet Bennett
5 Comments

”Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist… The question is: is the way the universe began chosen by God for reasons we can’t understand, or was it determined by a law of science?” that you could meet, and ask questions.” [1] he [Hawkings] said. ”I believe the second. If you like, you can call the laws of science ‘God’, but it wouldn’t be a personal God

This is a quote from Stephen Hawking’s latest book, The Grand Design, quoted by Laura Roberts in today’s Sydney Morning Herald in an article entitled “God did not create universe: Hawking.”

While some of the commentary on this newsarticle focused on the lack of newsworthiness of the story (for example, “Shock, horror, leading scientist doesn’t believe in God…really, this non-story is a glib plug for a new book, well done to the publicisit who somehow got this treated as news.”) I still enjoyed the article. And it got me thinking…

I do align God with the laws of science, BUT I’m not so sure that the story begins or ends there…

I think it’s important to recognise the limitations of our knowledge, for example, that we can never know what lies outside the boundaries of our universe. There could be an entire universe of universes we are unaware of. Not to mention the universes within our universe that our senses may not have evolved to sense. Just because we can not see, hear, smell, taste, or touch it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. I’m thinking of the sounds that bats hear, the electrofields that the platypus beak senses, etc etc. We simply cannot know the things we do not yet have a means to sense.

So, while I know it may well be ridiculously arrogent to think I can criticise someone as smart as Hawkings, I do question his statement “you can call the laws of science ‘God’, but it wouldn’t be a personal God that you could meet, and ask questions“.

When I think about the aligning of “God” with the laws of the universe and the idea of a “personal God” – I’m not so sure that the two concepts are incompatible.

In my mind, this aparent contradiction seems completely dependant on your language. It depends on your framing. It depends on your understanding of the universe, and of the connection between the macrocosms and microcosms that lay within it.

You can describe the awe-inspiring force of creative expansion of our universe using mathematical formula, chemistry, and universal laws; or, you can take the whole intricate system and personify it as “God”. And these two ways of describing the same thing, in my mind, are not mutually exclusive conceptions.

Just because you choose to personify the universe as “God”, and speak to it and (possibly) hear answers through your intuition and by reading the omens surrounding you… doesn’t mean that you can’t equate this peronified force “God” to the laws of the universe.

You may wonder:  How can anyone feel  comforted by a force that they are pretending to be a person? Why would anyone bother to personify it? And talk to it? How deluded! What a waste of time! …. Well I disagree.

Firstly, I don’t think anyone thinks God is actually a person. Even the most radical religious followers don’ think that – do they? I’m pretty sure that while groups may claim ownership of God, and may ascribe their own versions of historical or non-historical events to this God, I don’t believe any actually claim that God is a person. Religious believers (as far as I’m aware) would agree that the question of exactly WHAT is God, is beyond the limits of our knowledge; just as scientists (as far as I’m aware) would admit there are elements of the universe that they do not and may never come to know or understand.

Secondly, I do actually see some benefits of personifying it and talking to it. Largely due the connection that seems to appear between microcosm and macrocosm, there is a need for us to communicate with the whole that we are a part of.

Let me use an analogy:

When I twisted my ankle earlier this year, and ignored the injury for a week of waterskiing and partying, my brain decided to stop communicating with the spacial sensors located in the ligaments of my ankle. A few weeks later I twisted it again. And then again. And then again. It took a lot of time and money on physiotherapy to help reconnect my brain with my ankle, and even now every now and the communication channels are rusty and I almost go over on it.

So let’s apply this to our place within our universe, well to my limited understanding of my place within our universe…

From what I have learned in various books and lectures, every atom that exists as a vibration – electrons and protons moving at different speeds. Einstein showed us that matter IS energy (times the speed of light, squared)… what does this mean?

The line where our body appears to end and that which we sit on or touch seems to begin, is a boundary we perceive because our senses have evolved for us to see the world in this way. It’s like everything that exists is all part of the same piece of fabric, and the appearance of separateness is like a design weaved within it.

Our thoughts are not separate from this permeating fabric. From what I understand (yes it is probably due to books about The Law of Attraction and thought experiments), when we think the vibrations of our thoughts travel into the universe, and like an ankle talking to a brain, those thoughts play a role in the manifestation of the reality we experience. It seems that if you are “on the same wavelength” as someone else, so to say, if you are tuned in correctly you can pick up those vibrations and hear each other’s thoughts. Or maybe “hear” is not the right word. But you can sense them through an intuitive sense inside you – not in a sound, but in the mind.

Similarly if you “pray” to a God, or to The Universe, these thoughts connect to something that maybe similar to the “brain” of the macrocosm we are inside and generally acting within the laws of science, these thoughts attract your requests, your “prayers” are answered.

Maybe this doesn’t work for everyone, but it in an uncanny way it pretty much always works for me. Whether it’s putting in a request for a sunny winter’s day, or a rockstar carpark, and for much larger requests too. Ask and receive. Knock and the door will be opened.

Does this provide me comfort? Sure it does. It is rather like the analogy Christians give of a father’s loving embrace. When you don’t see yourself as separate from the universe, if there is no “other”, then you don’t fear it.

Does it matter whether or not you personify the macrocosm as “God”? I don’t think so really.

It helps me, but maybe that’s because I was conditioned this way since birth. Maybe it strengthens one’s relationship to the macrocosm, helps you sense vibrations at a different frequency, streamlining the communication channels amd making them more personal, or maybe it doesn’t, I’m not really sure.

I guess it’s not so different to an ankle ankleifying the brain. The ankle could say “Dear Mr Ankle that lives up top, there is a stone to the left that I need you to respond to”… or the ankle could try to communicate more abstractly with the Laws of the Body that it has experienced in the past. Maybe I’m taking my analogy too far…

Anyway, it seems that whether you are a theist or an atheist, whether you personify “god” or sciencify “the universe”, in my mind we are all referring to an ecosystem of macrocosms within macrocosms and microcosms within microcosms… we are all part of the repeating patterns that (including ourselves) are all expressions of some an energy that is both nothing and everything at the same time; we are all part of something that we will never fully be able to describe or understand.

Maybe anklifying the brain if you are ankle, or personifying the universe if you are person, is a useful tool for communicating with the whole… or maybe it’s not. What do you think???

– Is the idea of a divine force compatible with spontaneous creation?

– Might “God” refer to a personification of what scientific laws attempt to describe?

– Is it possible (and useful) to communicate with this “personal God”?

Is the question on the Sydney Morning Herald poll too limited? Should there be an option that reads:

“None of the above – spontaneous creation IS a divine force itself, whether or not that divine force extends beyond it.”

That’s the one I’d vote for.

References:

Laura Roberts, Sydney Morning Herald (3 Sept 2010) quoting from Hawking’s latest book, The Grand Design – an extract of which is published in Eureka magazine in The Times.

Picture:

A Sydney Morning Herald poll – to vote go to this site:

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/god-did-not-create-universe-hawking-20100903-14rva.html#comments

Truth, , , ,

Why I don’t commit suicide

Written by Juliet Bennett
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“Camus said there is only really one serious philosophical question which is whether or not to commit suicide,” said Alan Watts, quoting Albert Camus (going on to say he believes there are five serious philosophical questions… see audio book on you tube below)

It is a good question. If we are all going to die at one point or another, then why bother going on? Why not just do it now, get it over with?

What motivates you to get up in the morning, to do something rather than stay in bed all day?

Is it the people you love, or maybe the responsibility of looking after the family you were born into or the one you created, or maybe the desire to create your own? Is it your career, to own your own home, buy your dream boat, or some monetary goals; or maybe your religion, vocation, to help other people, the planet or to manifest some creative idea? Or is it for just to enjoy frivolous fun while it lasts?

What is it that motivates these sources of motivation? Is it for some kind of sense of fulfillment? Is this external or internally determined? That is, are you after some kind of social validation, popularity or acknowledgment from your peers? Or own inner sense of of self accomplishment, self-respect?

For me I think it’s my thirst for knowledge, the process of learning, the ongoing challenges, the brief moments of satisfaction, the creative potential I see around me… and maybe it’s a mix of all of these other things too.

All of these aspects of life seem to culminate into an inner monologue, into a story I narrate to myself, defined by the ups and the downs, and framed by my mind. As long as I can see my life having a purpose, I continue to go on. In sum, I don’t commit suicide because (referring to the ad printed on a car on the picture above) life is good, (even) when it sux.

BTW

Alan Watts is a philosopher / “spiritual entertainer”, who is well worth a listen… this first one where I got this quote:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOpwLSzYYGA[/youtube]

And this is the intro to his lecture series “Out of Your Mind”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTNpx9N22ss[/youtube]

How good is his laugh!!! If you have seen me walking the streets of Sydney listening to my ipod and bursting into laughter, it’s most likely Alan’s laugh that is to blame…

Truth, ,

Inspiration: angels, devils, and suicidal ants.

Written by Juliet Bennett
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While in the past I’ve aspired to balance, I’ve come to embrace the imbalance, accepting that balance is found in the wholeness of all that exists, and over time – it doesn’t have to exist in every moment I experience. The yin and yang – the mixture of cold and hot, of love and fear, of birth and death – provide a fertile ground for new ideas to be seeded and creative potentials to be discovered.

I see this dynamic in everything that surrounds me, in the death of stars above, and in the death of tiny ants that decided to share my bed. I don’t think I shared this story when I was away…

In Pokhara I unintentionally killed a few of ants who were on my bed. I spent the next half hour watching the survivors mourn and try to deal with the death of their loved ones:

First the deceased ant’s friend lay it’s head on top of the dead body.

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Then it tried to put the carcass on its back and carry it.

When it was too difficult it rolled the body into a ball and tried again.

Then it started to pull and drag it behind.

I don’t know where it thought the nearest ant hospital or grave yard was located.

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Eventually it gave up and curled itself into a ball.

I thought it had committed romantic Romeo-and-Juliet-suicide.

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But, when I returned from a dinner, I discovered it had pulled itself together and left the bed.

(Lucky there were two beds in my room so I didn’t actually have to share my bed with the ant carcasses lol)

These ant observations left me thinking, not only about the human-likeness of even the littlest insects, but of life and death and where I draw a line between good and bad.

In India and Nepal I had met quite a few people who do not harm an ant or fly in order to prevent a future reincarnation as an ant or fly. Did I feel bad for killing the ant’s friend? No. Not only because it was an accident, and because I don’t believe in karmic reincarnation of individual souls (I do not fear I’ll now be returning as an ant), but because (as I’ve mentioned in other entries) I see death is an intrinsic part of life.

Some forms of life live long lives, others lead short ones, and that is that.

If the ants I killed had a lot to offer our world, then I would be sad. While collectively ants are an important component of Earth’s ecosystem, there are who-knows-how-many billion more ants who will continue this ant’s job. While his friend missed him dearly, the rest of the universe won’t. I guess that’s sad, but it’s the way the universe works, the way “God” works.

Systems on all levels of our reality are microcosms and macrocosms of the systems on other levels. Human society is no different. Killing cows to eat is a product of our present place in the food chain. 60 million years ago we were rodents being eaten by dinosaurs. Life goes on. Systems and species die and new systems and species arise and evolve.

The miracle of human consciousness is the creative choice that sits in our minds – we can actually contemplate, plan and co-create the future of our world. It gives us foresight, hindsight, guilt and conscience. We humans do seem to have the world,  sitting in our palms. We humans, in this moment, have the power to create and to destroy.

As agents of “God” we have been given this choice: good or evil, with the definition of these loaded words constantly changing, but what at root appear to somewhat be connected to the harmony and disharmony of the universe as a whole.

The question we face (sorry if I come back to these points too much), is what and how: What do we want the world to look like, and how are we going to get there?

Or… am I giving the human intellect too much credit? Is global warming a sign that the universe, or “God”, has a plan of “his” own; that the laws of nature are more powerful than the laws of man?

Maybe the future of humanity lays in the hands of nature, and not the other way around. Maybe we will be a short-lived species, reaping the karmic consequences of our own neglect and making way for the rise of new species who are possibly a little more ant-like in their sustainable ecosystems and balanced metabolisms.

The future is uncertain. I guess the uncertainty and possibility is part of the fun of it.

Photo:

Photographer – Cade Turner www.cadeturner.com.au

Taken at a fancy-dress charity event I photographed on the weekend. I had to dress as “something or someone that inspires me”. I dressed as an angel AND a devil, with the philosophical justification that the existence of opposing forces keeps me challenged, engaged, and inspired.

It was a fundraiser for The Inspire Foundation – a charity established in direct response to Australia’s then escalating rates of youth suicide. www.inspire.org.au

More photos from the ‘To Be Inspired’ Laneway Ball are on facebook: Click Here

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